Monday, January 22, 2007

I'm number 14!

When I first discovered Maxim magazine about ten years ago, I immediately ordered a subscription. It was refreshing to have a magazine that spoke directly to me, an American man. That magazine made no apologies that American men are horny drunks who like to go fast and blow shit up. Their light hearted articles about hot women, beer, sex, fast cars and blowing shit up was a nice change from all the other men's magazines on the racks.

(heh, heh, heh . . ."racks")

I was a bit taken aback when Shorty declared that Maxim, for him, was dead. I did notice a drastic reduction in page count, but the content seemed to be the same, so I continued to look forward to each issue.

Until this month. Maxim has a list of the 50 lamest things, ever. The 14th lamest thing ever is baby boomers. "Putting them in a nursing home will be so sweet."

I was born in the last year of the baby boom. I am a baby boomer. I guess I am no longer welcome at Maxim. I am the 14th lamest thing of all time. Lamer than the Holocaust. Lamer than the potato famine. Lamer than that guy Tony Little who yells at you to buy his excercise tapes with his blonde pony tail pulled through his ball cap. It is a hard pill to swallow, but if Maxim says it is so, then it is so.

After 10 years, I guess I'm going to have to cancel my subscription.

I am not aging well. I had to start completely over with my life a couple years ago, and I had to face a lot of realities, and one of them that still hasn't sunk in was that I am no longer 29. I suppose at my age, I don't need to be leering at photos of nearly naked girls I've never heard of, like last month's Lacey Chabert, who were born when I was already finished with college.

I don't think men my age are any different than we were 10 years ago. We're still horny drunks who like to drive fast and blow shit up. It's just that now, we drink expensive wine and go fast in nice German cars. I'm with Shorty. I need a new magazine. Maybe one with pictures of a nearly naked Diane Lane.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Diane Lane.

3 Comments:

At 12:32 PM , Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Console yourself with the fact that you were born during the Third Wave of the Baby Boom.

To be a truly lame Baby Boomer, you must be able to falsely claim attendance at Woodstock. Or worse, spent the last thirty six years wishing you had been able to go.

 
At 5:10 PM , Blogger Lynnster said...

The Edge (Not of U2) and I are not quite Baby Boom age - more like eldest of the Gen-X'ers - but he just informed me he last week he doesn't want to renew his subscription to Maxim either. It wasn't over the Baby Boom comment, but he's not liking it overall much anymore, and he's close enough to BB age to be offended over that statement too.

I think Maxim is not really paying attention to their overall and complete demographic, and I suspect they'll be seeing a major drop in subscriptions because of it (and probably lots of angry mail over that statement too).

 
At 9:57 AM , Blogger Ryan said...

I've never read Maxim. Always been an Esquire, Playboy, and New Yorker guy. But I'm on board with the need for a new magazine that caters to ME.

Any ideas?

Ryan

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home