Friday, February 10, 2006

A Heckuva Job

I had the Congressional hearings on with Michael "Heckuva Job" Brown for a minute before I had to turn it off in disgust. The particular segment I watched was Joe Leiberman asking questions of Brown about the FEMA response in the initial hours of the breach of the levees in New Orleans. It was like watching Deputy Dawg grilling Deputy Dork.

Dawg: I have a hard time believing that you can't recall whether you spoke to the President or not at such a critical time.

Dork: (stammering and looking away) In that particular incident, well . . . I . . . uh . . . I don't want to sound arrogant, but I talk to the President all the time.

You're kidding, right?

You're still impressed with people who have access to the President of the United States?!? You think saying "I talk to the President all the time" sounds arrogant? Maybe to a guy who runs horse shows. But the head of a major government administration? Man, you're worse than I imagined.

Listen. We are not "impressed" that you might have actually talked to the President. Nobody sounds "arrogant" by declaring that they often talk to their boss. I think we all assumed that talking to him was part of your job. When you say you don't want to "sound arrogant" what I hear you saying is that you are a weak, sniveling pussy who got a job you were majestically unqualified for through nepotism and cronyism and found out in front of the whole world that you were in way over your head and now you have to squirm in front of the cameras and committees and try to act like you're tough. That's why, in order to finally get things under control, they sent in an ass-kicking Coonazz aptly named Honore to do your job, a man who would never be caught dead saying something like "I don't want to come off as being arrogant . . ." because he IS arrogant, which is what we needed in the first place.

Arrogant was thinking you could handle a job you had no business taking. You were head of FEMA. It was an Emergency, something you were supposed to Manage. You failed. Trust me, you don't sound arrogant. Save us the faux tough guy act.

Please come back when you find your testicles.


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