Thursday, January 26, 2006

Heavy Lifting

Dude. I like to work out, but you, Mr. Fitness, you really like to work out. You are totally cut, dude, I mean ripped. What are you, about 46? All the more reason for the respect.

Personally, I quit wearing the skin tight stuff around the time I turned 30. But you have worked hard to get your physique, so go on with your painted-on green Under Armour second skin look. If asked, I'm sure you would say that it allows you to go through your full range of motion on every exercise without any pulling or binding. We all know that's bullshit, you're vain and you're showing off. No problem. I bet you kill with the ladies, especially the late 30s freshly divorced set. You're certainly a man who cares about what those around you think of your appearance.

Well, I'm around you right now, and I do have one little problem. It's those straps dangling from your wrists. You know, the ones you use to get a better grip when you clip on a 45 and do your pull-ups. They're just flopping around everywhere you go and it's really distracting. You're not doing pull-ups right now. In fact, look around. You're in a Home fucking Depot. So here's what I think of your appearance: You look like a dick.


At 10:25 AM , Blogger Busy Mom said...

And I'm sure he walks with his arms out at a 45 degree angle since his muscle bulk prevents him from putting his arms flat on his sides.

At 5:45 PM , Anonymous funny sports blog said...



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