Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sage advice for young, single men

Bez talks about meeting women while walking your dog. I've heard that before, too. In fact, right after my divorce, I had a hot young bartender tell me, considering that I was newly single again after ten years, that there was no way I would ever possibly be able to find a date without the aid of either a puppy or a motorcycle.

Bitch.

I remember in college there was a rumour about a grocery store where all the hot single women shopped. It was said to be a great way to find a date. So I went. There were quite a few attractive young ladies shopping there. The problem was, you feel like a tool approaching a woman who's just out to get some tampons and dish soap and point to her cart and say, "I LOVE garbanzo beans, too!! You wanna go get a Coke?"

You read all kinds of different scenarios where you are guaranteed to hook-up with the next love of your life. A bookstore. Church. A hike in the park. Volunteering to help old people.

Whatever. Let me give you youngsters some advice. The only place you are going to meet a woman is in a bar. Trust me. I've met everyone I've ever dated in bars. I've met all my wives in bars. I'm batting a thousand.

You can thank me later.

13 Comments:

At 8:50 PM , Blogger Lynnster said...

Um, Knuck, hon? Um... no, not gonna say it.

Someone else say it.

 
At 8:51 PM , Blogger Lynnster said...

(PS Please don't put arsenic in my BBQ if I end up saying it.)

But I really wish someone else would say it...

 
At 9:29 PM , Anonymous Sarcastro said...

As I too have found, a bar is the only place to meet a woman with similar interests.

Mainly, getting loaded and laid.

If that fails, there is always the Harris Teeter on 21st. That place is hot chick central!

 
At 9:37 PM , Blogger Lynnster said...

Never mind what I was gonna say, I was looking at this from a chick side of things, I think. What I was gonna say was, "But Knuck, you got divorced."

But that's not what this is all about, right? This is just about dating(and, natch, sex), right?

Ugh, my blonde roots are showing, oops. I'll shut up now.

 
At 11:20 PM , Anonymous Jay said...

I've met all my wives in bars

There's a country song there somewhere.

 
At 1:53 AM , Blogger CHEZ BEZ said...

Ahhh, the 21st Ave Harris Teeter. I used to live on Bernard and was always glad to shop among the beauties therein.

My exes and where I met them:
1. Outdoor photo developer kiosk thingy
2. Record store
3. Record store
4. Ace of Clubs (OK, a bar)
5. Bank (the psycho one, but don't tell her I said that)
6. Hotel (not an ex, my wife now)
7. Hotel (while future - current? - wife and I were "on a break.")

I'm not counting one nighters here, but they were 100% met in bars.

Unrelated, but I finally got back to the Mothership today for the first time since around Christmas and guess what? No Knuck. Oh well, I was there and the food was good. Maybe I'll go again tomorrow and bring my Finnish beauty of a friend with me.

 
At 8:15 AM , Anonymous Roctavious McGhee said...

Let's see, just going by my last three ex's (since that covers about 10 years), I've met them in:

IHOP
IHOP
A bar

It appears that the Rooty Rooty Fresh 'N Fruity has been more successful for me than pitchers of beer and slippery nipple shots.

 
At 8:53 AM , Blogger Plimco said...

Wait. You can't meet hot young single men while volunteering to work with old people? You're kidding. But that was my whole plan. Foiled.

You think you're soooo funny.

Ok, this is fun and it's keeping me awake thinking about it, so I want to play too.

Where I met my exes:

Art Openining
Acting Class
Rehearsal
Local Pub
Rehearsal
At an audition
On the Internet

Dang. And given my new rule about not dating actors? I doubt I'll ever get laid again. Sigh.

Well, this was fun and uplifting. Thank you for your time and have a nice day.

 
At 1:07 PM , Blogger Ginger said...

I met my ex-husband in church. Everybody always says to find some nice boy to date at church. uh-huh...we see how that turned out...
So next time I'm lookin', I'll be lookin' at a bar.

 
At 2:40 PM , Anonymous sistasmiff said...

I met Mr. Smiff in a bar...and what a prize he is. I am the envy of all wimmin.

 
At 10:01 AM , Blogger Exador said...

I had a few friend-of-a-friend fix-em-ups, then it was a series of bars, then I met Mrs Schwarts in a bar that we both worked in, so I guess that was both in-a-bar and at-work.

 
At 12:09 PM , Anonymous Rachel said...

Met the husband at a Waffle House. Which, at 2 in the morning, is a bit like a bar.

 
At 1:47 PM , Anonymous Grace the Heart Breaker said...

Hmmm.... my exes came from:

1. mutual friend (but that mutual friend is my exes boss, so that's kinda wierd too...)
2. the bar I work at
3. the bar I work at
4. the bar I work at
5. an audition
6. my neighbors house (he wasn't my neighbor though, just a friend)

And there are two that I didn't include: I dated two of my bosses. Not at the same time, nor at the same job, but I guess I missed that day in school when they taught you to NEVER date your boss. It will never end well.

This is wierd. Ugh.

 

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