Friday, September 08, 2006

What I've learned about being a white American man

I am a white American man. This is what I've learned from the internet lately.
I am scum until I prove otherwise.
I am a racist.
I am a sexist.
I carelessly use others for my own personal gain.

In other words, the fact that I am a white American man means that I am a selfish bastard who hoards power with, and only cares about, other white American men.

This kind of shit reminds me of listening to people without kids talk about how they would theoretically raise their kids if the had any. Like, "my kid would NEVER be allowed to watch Barney!" Guess what? If you hadn't had a shower that lasted longer than 90 seconds in over a year, and you discovered that Barney held the attention of your child for ten minutes at a time, you would love Barney as much as the next parent. Parents don't defend things like Barney to non-parents because it goes in one ear and out the other. It's easy to raise the perfect child when you don't have one. It is a lot different in the trenches. It's a pretty good life, being a parent. It's just annoying when people who don't know what it is like tell me I'm doing it wrong.

So, unless you are a white American man, you don't know what it is like to be one. Quit lumping me in with all the other white American men. I am not a racist. I am not sexist. I'm just a schlub working my ass off so my white American daughter can go to the college of her choice. If there are some white American men that have done you wrong, that isn't my fault. Stop blaming me for your problems. Stop stereotyping me. I'm not George Bush. I'm not George Allen. I'm not Pat Robertson. I'm not Perry March. I'm not Tom Cruise.

Your attempts to make me apologize for being a white American man aren't going to work. It's a pretty good life being a white American man. Except when people who don't know what it is like tell me I'm doing it wrong.

9 Comments:

At 10:37 AM , Blogger Busy Mom said...

Excellent.

 
At 10:50 AM , Blogger Kerry Woo said...

Well said.

 
At 10:57 AM , Blogger Mushy said...

I like your style.

However, you need a boot sock stuffed down the front of that outfit!

 
At 10:59 AM , Blogger Sarcastro said...

Give 'em hell, Knuck.

I'm racist scum and I haven't seen you at any of the meetings.

 
At 11:35 AM , Anonymous Roger Abramson said...

Knuck's a racist until proven otherwise.

But he makes good BBQ, so it all washes out in the end.

 
At 11:51 AM , Anonymous sistasmiff said...

You can get an Amen from me. Preach on, Brutha Knuck.

 
At 12:48 PM , Blogger Short and Fat said...

Is Mushy checking out your junk?

 
At 8:06 PM , Anonymous jonathan hickman said...

That's right. Just because there are some seriously messed up white American men doesn't mean all white American men are horrible and can't be trusted.

I've thought the same thing several times this week without knowing how to say it.

 
At 5:04 PM , Blogger Mistersippi said...

As I believe Mudbone would say.........

When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I black, when I cold, I black, when I scared, I black, when I sick, I black, and when I die, I still black.

You white folks....when you born, you pink, when you grow up, you white, when you go in sun, you red, when you cold, you blue, when you scared, you yellow, when you sick, you green, when you bruised, you purple, and when you die, you gray. So who you callin' colored folk's ???

 

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