Nashville Knucklehead

Classic Bachelor Dad Moment

Katie's got a debate going on over here about age-appropriate swimwear. My kid is five. She has always had bikinis, her mom buys them for her. After the first time she put one on and I reminded myself that she has no concept of sexuality, I got over the initial shock, and I don't think twice about that stuff.

Last week, she came to my house with a bag full of last year's clothes given to her by a friend. I was taking her to the Titan's game, and she said she wanted to go get dressed herself. (She usually insists that I "help" her, meaning that I go in with her so that she can reject all my suggestions.) Well, she came out dressed in a halter top with ties at the bottom and a mini skirt. She was showing belly. It was pretty weird for a minute, rather Jon-Benet-ish, but that's what she picked, so I let her wear it. After getting over the initial shock, which wasn't helped when she pulled the front of her skirt down to show me that she was wearing her "hoochie mama panties," I noticed that the clothes were very wrinkled.

I do own an iron. I think. But I am also a big fan of Downy Wrinkle Releaser. I spray it on wrinkled shirts after I put them on. I mentioned that to a bunch of women one time, and they looked at me like I was an alien. Hey, it works.

So we were going to Target before the game to get her some shoes for school anyway, and I bought a bottle of Wrinkle Releaser, and treated all the passers-by in the Brentwood Target parking lot to the sight of me making her stand still outside the carwith her arms out while I sprayed this five-year-old hoochie mama front and back, with her yelling, "stop it Daddy, you're getting it in my eyes!"

It worked.

posted by Nashville Knucklehead @ 2:11 PM