Nashville Knucklehead

The Buck Stops Here

I am going to attempt to address Aunt B's ongoing quest to understand Libertarianism/Feminism/Christianityism/ and all the other -isms, from the point of view of me, the ultimate oppressor, the white American man. Actually, I'm going to try to help her understand me, and that's about it.

While I try to devote this forum to funny tales of crazy chicks and blow jobs of yesteryear, Auntee B got to me the other day when she posted a long and eloquent argument (as only she can do, 3 or 4 times a day) about how straight men should not stand for the messages sent by society that we are all pigs. I told her that we didn't hear such messages, then made a witty and charming remark about eating my own poop for lunch. She responded as though we were an old married couple. She ignored what I said and asked if maybe I actually heard the messages and subconciously internalized them. She didn't like my answer, so she asked the question a different way. Well, the answer is still no, I don't hear the messages in society about how men are pigs, and now I'm here to tell you why.

I am a WASP. We are the root of all evil. Period. We hear it all the time. As a younger man, it bothered me. When I came of age, Phil Donahue was bringing on all these feminists whose mantra, over and over, was "men are pigs." He'd run around in the audience and stick a microphone in the faces of all these women and they would all say the same thing. "Men only use us as sex objects." "They're pigs, the lot of them." "Piggy, piggy piggy, oink, oink, oink." Men are pigs because of centuries of "keeping us down." It definitely affected my behavior when I was younger. I made sure I could never be accused of "using" a woman. It took a long, long, long time for me to realize that sometimes women were using me, not the other way around. And it happenes a whole lot more than I care to believe, because women are, first and foremost, people. I may be a pig, but someone has to reach down into the garbage disposal when it's clogged.

Every group has something to bitch about except us. We hear it from the blacks, gays, Asians, Muslims and midgets.Therefore, we are pigs. It is the "moral superiority of the victim" syndrome. Because my great-great grandfather wouldn't let women vote, you're somehow better than me because you would have never let that kind of thing happen, therefore, I'm a pig. Because my great-great-great-great grandfather owned slaves, I owe black people some of my money. And on. And on. And on.

So, back to the point of not hearing it, As I said, I used to hear it, but there is nothing I can do about it. We are the only group that isn't allowed to complain about being oppresed. We can't form an NAAWP, or a Metro Council White Caucus or a National Organization for Men, because of our history. "Golddigger" was nominated for a Grammy. I couldn't sing it in a club, because someone would be offended when I said, "broke niggaz." Gay guys call themselves queer and fags, I'm not allowed. And on. And on. And on.

So the point is, I do hear it all the time, I've just completely become de-sensitized to it. I block it out. Libertarians sort of block it out, but not all the way. That's why libertarians are mostly white men. They're guys who are just tired of being blamed for everything and bitched at by everyfuckingbody. Some guys can't block it out at all. They usually end up in a cabin in Utah with 2 years worth of food and water and a whole lot of firepower. But most guys I know give the whole topic a big yawn and a rousing "whetever." We fucked you all over. I know. Sorry. How many times are you going to remind us? Bitch at us all you want. What are we supposed to do? There is no where else to go. We have no one to bitch at. The buck stops with us. Eventually we realize that and we ignore it. We're too busy trying to get shit done to worry about it.

None of this is new. It's been going on forever. Not all white American men think like me. A lot of men are pigs. There are men who are racists and sexist and homophobes. That's because we're all people first. The sub categories come later. So people can bitch about my group all they want. I really honestly don't give a shit. I don't let others define my self-worth. Like all people, I'm just trying to get by in this limited window of life we are given. I'm not trying to oppress anyone. I'm just trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing here. And the older I get, the more I realize that nobody, and I mean nobody, has any idea what the fuck they are doing here.

And Aunt B., if you need someone to reach into you clogged disposer, just let me know, you cute little ol' feminist. /* virtual smack on the ass*/

posted by Nashville Knucklehead @ 2:20 PM