Friday, May 26, 2006

Damn Government

So the damn government won't let me open my BBQ joint until I put in a handicap ramp. Me and the Idiot Drummer attempted to get a good start last night. Unfortunately, we hit a major problem that required a trip to Home Depot at 9:15. They close at nine. This is how far we got.

This ramp is the biggest fucking pain in my ass, ever. I am ready to open, and I am losing money every day that this fucking thing isn't there. The requirements are ridiculous. I'm all for equal access for everybody, but for the government to mandate that I build a ramp that is going to end up costing me about $4000 is a real burden. I have a ramp in back that I put in for deliveries and catering. It isn't good enough for several administrative reasons. If you are a Congressman or Senator and you have the capability to divert just $4000 from that police action occuring in Iraq, (the one where we're looking for a guy who we know is in Afganistan) which is about 1/10 of one second of what we are spending over there, I would appreciate it. I am hiring people. They will be legal citizens. They will pay taxes. You'll get the money back.

On another note, in a sure sign of the apocolypse, or at least a sure sign that we are really getting old, the Idiot Drummer drank all my . . . wait for it . . . Fresca last night. Not a sip of beer. Old, old, old.


At 1:03 PM , Blogger grandefille said...

You fix barbecue AND drink Fresca?

Marry me. Or let's at least shack up.

Seriously, thank you for working so hard to help *all* your patrons get in the door. A late pal of mine, a former cop who wound up in a wheelchair after a motorcycle wreck, was among the biggest barbecue connoisseurs I've ever known. He'd CRAWL up the back steps to get into a barbecue joint if he had to. So in his honor, we thank you for all the hell you're going through. And I wish it was closer to payday so I could come up and give a bigger donation than the cost of a couple of pounds of pulled pork.

Good luck and big smooches, Knuck.

At 2:12 PM , Blogger ceeelcee said...

How funny is it that now your two Google ads at the top of the page are now for wheelchair ramps and offer free shipping?

Funny how irony can be so...ironic.

Now where would a guy go to get a wheelchair ramp? Hmmmm...

At 2:40 PM , Blogger Spin_Doc1 said...

Did you know Zima tastes a lot like Fresca?

At 4:55 PM , Anonymous Sarcastro said...

I got a hammer, drill, tape and possibly a framing square in my truck.

Name the time and beverage availability and I'll give you all the help you need.

At 11:06 AM , Blogger Nashville Knucklehead said...

Sarcastro, I don't know when you left that comment, but I wish I had seen it. If you want to help, email me at nashvilleknucklehead at comcast dot niner, edgar, tango.

I'll pay you.


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