Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Stripper Sniffing

I have been given the title of Not-So-Anonymous Best-Strippers-For-A-Lap-Dance Expert.

I am actually not a lap dance expert. It is mere coincidence that the first post ever here in Knucklehead Land happened to be about a table dance. Since no one ever reads your first 50 or so posts, I am going to repost it.

I don't go to strip clubs often -- I've probably averaged one visit every three or four years over my adult life. I only go if there is a reason, like a bunch of friends are going, you know, peer pressure. The last time I went was several months after I found out about my ex-wife's affair and my impending divorce. I was miserable and lonely, I hadn't been near a woman in forever, and my buddies thought a trip to the Good Time Emporium would cheer me up. We were in Atlanta. We eventually had enough to drink that they decided it was necessary to buy me a table dance. In some places you are allowed to touch the girls without some bouncer throwing you out on your ass. But we were in Georgia and I wasn't familiar with the laws.

So this beautiful naked woman started dancing right in front of me, and I leaned up and said, "I'm not from Atlanta, and I don't know what the rules are here."

She said "You're not allowed to touch me." She continued to dance.

I leaned up again and said "Are you wearing perfume?" She said she was. I said "Can I smell your neck?"

She leaned up and grabbed the back of my head and put my face right up on her neck. I took a deep breath. She smelled like heaven. For that brief moment all my troubles disappeared. It's often the little things you miss about having a woman around.

Of course, I'm sure she went back to the dressing room and said, "Listen up, girls, we've got a sniffer at table 14!"

5 Comments:

At 11:13 AM , Blogger bridgett said...

This is a nice evocation of that loneliness that we all go through...but if you're trying to piss off She Of the Perfect Tits and Exquisite Blowjob, you're headed in the right direction with yet another description of anonymous naked booty you have sniffed. Just sayin.

 
At 11:19 AM , Blogger Nashville Knucklehead said...

God you're right.

I'm such an idiot.

I need to start writing about politics or scrapbooking.

 
At 12:03 PM , Blogger Exador said...

I read somewhere that that "unique stripper smell" is baby oil (mixed with perfume). I must have been reading The Stripper's Almanac or something, because it implied that this is a trade secret that all strippers know. The smell carries a universal trigger of innocence combined with sex, or some such thing.

 
At 7:26 PM , Blogger ceeelcee said...

I always thought it was the combination of sweat, Virginia Slims and FDS.

I learn somewthing new every day on this blog.

 
At 1:06 PM , Blogger Exador said...

Ceeelcee,

In an amazing freak of nature, we're both right. Both of those combinations have the same resultant scent.

He DOES work in mysterious ways.

 

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