Monday, April 03, 2006

Just Shut Up, Lady!

Voice Mail Lady,

I am tired of listening to you. It is just voicemail. I know how to use it. We all do. We've all done it lots of times. Why do you have to explain that "you have reached the voicemail of . . ."? I know who I am calling. Why do you have to explain that I need to "press three to hear more options, press seven to hear this again, press one to go off the deep end," and the worst one, "when you are finished recording, you can simply hang up . . ."EVERY SINGLE TIME I call anyone? I know how to use voicemail. I know that I just hang up when I'm done, bitch!

All I want to hear is, "Leave a message" beep

To which I will reply, "Dude, call me back." And hang up.

Why do you have to talk longer than I do? Just shut up.

If you won't shut up, I guess I can just pretend that this is you, talking to me and stealthily flipping me off.


At 8:52 AM , Blogger ceeelcee said...

Oh, thank you for bringing that picture back into my life!!

I like to imagine that she's a German businesswoman vacationing in Copacabana and she's walking down the beach to buy another batida drink in a coconut when she sees me laying there in my board shorts, baseball cap and tee shirt (because I burn easily). Oh, and she hates me.


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