Sunday, April 02, 2006

Bea Arthur. I swear. Bea Arthur.

I used to have a little blurb in the sidebar of this place. I can't tell you what it said. I had to remove it. I'll give you an idea about what it said. "Capitalism only works when you" is verbatim. The sentence was finished by instructing you to put your mo`use over those things that appear on top that are generated by that big se ar ch en/gi/ne company in Northern California and pressing on the button that is on your m-o-u-s-e.

I had it there for a while, then I got an email from that big se/ar/ch en:gi:ne company that generates the things at the top that you can put your mouse over and **c l i-c k** and it will take you places to buy things. I can't tell you what the email said, because most of what it said was that I was saying things that I couldn't say and that if I didn't quit they wouldn't let me put those things up there upon which you press the button on your rodent to go other places to b~u~y stuff any more. The email started like this. I will edit it a little:

Hello,

While *spying on you with our super computer* we noticed that you are currently displaying **those things that our big company in Cali+fornia generate for you to m a k e``` m o n e y** in a manner that is not compliant with our *Big Brother Tactics*.
It then went into lengthy detail about all the things I couldn't do to bring attention to those things that are up there so that you can c /ick on them and I can get a ^^che ck^^ from that big-company-whose-name-rhymes-with-frugal. And they put me on double-secret probation.

The funny thing was, at the time, my grand total from folks doing to those things with their mouses that I would like them to do more of was a little over $9. Here it is a couple of months later, and I'm up today to $12.78. All time. I figure I'll have them send me a you-know-what that I can cash at the end of the year and I'll buy my kid a Christmas present.

But, I thought for a minute that I can use the option to have them send me my money every month. If they are going to be pissy, I might do that, just so they have to spend 39 cents to send me a 25 cent you-know-what that I can deposit in my bank account every month. Plus all the accounting they'd have to pay for.

I understand that they are trying to prevent c/ick "word-that-rhymes-with- Maude -and-starts-with-an-eff-arr-sound" So I'm not allowed to encourage you to do something with your mo/use on those things at the t-o-p of the page that will get my kid a nicer present at Christmas. But if you do, I would thank you, but I can't.

I'm hoping the Maude reference makes their super-computer ignore this post as a story about Bea Arthur.

Bea Arthur Bea Arthur Bea Arthur Bea Arthur!

4 Comments:

At 9:12 PM , Anonymous Marc said...

Well, they won't send you a you know what until you get up the level of Ben Franklin, so your devious plan wouldn't work any way...... ;)

 
At 10:01 AM , Blogger Kat Coble said...

I guess I'm in trouble, huh? On another note.....

My gay brother loves Bea Arthur.

 
At 10:57 AM , Blogger ceeelcee said...

I let my rodents run all over your site, dropping c/icks everywhere.

Then I saw you had a link to an American Idol ad...

Et tu, Knuck?

 
At 10:39 AM , Blogger Lynnster said...

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant post! Go get 'em!

 

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