Nashville Knucklehead

Horses and Cleavage and Hats, Oh My!

Iroquios Steeplechase is nearly upon us. Once a year the horses-who-jump-over-stuff circuit makes its stop in Nashville. It is a bunch of horses you never heard of ridden by a bunch of jockeys you never heard of running around and jumping over stuff.

And I love it. Because the official dress code for Steeplechase for the ladies is a low-cut cotton sundress and a big, floppy hat. That little plot of land in Edwin Warner Park becomes the cleavage capital of the South for an entire day. It is enough to make a grown man weep for joy. Women seem to think that sundresses are "cute." No. Let's clarify something. Sundresses are hot. I mean hot, hot HOT. A sundress is, in my opinion, the hottest thing possible for a woman to wear. And I have several friends who agree. (Let's not talk about that outfit I have on the woman in my basement. Shut up.)

As for the big, floppy hats, women think that they're "fun." Nope. They're not "fun." They're stupid as shit. But we don't care, we're not looking at the top of your head. We're looking down the front of your "cute" sundress.

It's one of those event that promotes "civilized" daytime drinking. Because it is full of well-heeled Belle Meadians, there is not a trace of guilt over drinking before the sun has even reached the yard arm. It's also the kind of day where people bring jugs full of "punch" and Vandy frat boys drink too much of it and pass out. But each of those Vandy frat boys has a date in a low-cut cotton sundress. And a stupid hat.

So if you are the type of person who likes to spend the day drinking and stumbling around in a never-ending sea of beautiful women in low-cut cotton sundresses, Steeplechase is for you. And once every hour or so, a horserace breaks out.

posted by Nashville Knucklehead @ 1:03 PM